Remember when Harry Potter was innocent fun for kids of all ages? For more than a decade, J.K. Rowling’s “Wizarding World” was full of fantasy, action, magic, and a little left for the imagination.
Well, ratings aren’t what they used to be for the Fantastic Beasts prequels, so J.K. needs to spruce things up a bit. Only when she admitted in the Blu-Ray commentary on The Crimes of Grindelwald that was just released that “there is a sexual dimension to this relationship,” she wishes she was just “j/k” because those innocent fans grew up to be some potent trolls.
“Their relationship was incredibly intense. It was passionate, and it was a love relationship,” she said in the Blu-ray commentary via the Radio Times. “But as happens in any relationship, gay or straight or whatever label we want to put on it, one never knows really what the other person is feeling. You can’t know, you can believe you know.”
Yes, that opaque commentary about two beloved characters in the franchise getting freaky between the wizardly sheets didn’t go over too well with loyal fans and hell-bent staunch brand protectors alike. And now, the chaos that ensued.
NOTE: If you’re not down with all things Potter, there’s so much jargon in here, you may need a glossary. After you look stuff up, you’ll find this is bed-wetting hilarity.
JK Rowling pretty much admits that 2 gay men broke up and it caused a civil war in the wizarding world and BITCH I LIVE FOR THE DRAMA!!
— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) March 17, 2019
HARRY POTTER FAN: I love that the creator of my favorite series is so interested in continuing to expand the universe!
JK ROWLING: Okay here’s a list of each character from the books organized by how hard they came when they fucked each other
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) March 17, 2019
Me: I —
JK Rowling: Hagrid has paid for feet pics
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) March 17, 2019
JK Rowling: quidditch is a metaphor for Brexit https://t.co/KhspnpQJL2
— raj (@internetraj) March 17, 2019
J. K. Rowling: a quaffle is also a magic sex position
— Alan Henry (@AlanHenry) March 17, 2019
J.K. Rowling: Neville got his last name because he likes getting a finger up the bum
— James Marriott (@JamesMarriottYT) March 17, 2019
J.K. Rowling: Wizards switched to owls because pigeons refused to carry any more moving dick pics.
— Dmitry Grozoubinski (@DmitryOpines) March 17, 2019
J.K. ROWLING: Dumbledore doesn’t blink during sex & only eats cabbage
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) March 17, 2019
absolutely no one, not even one person:
jk rowling, producing the 3rd installment of fantastic beasts for pornhub: https://t.co/vgtrhGs8tM
— Safiya Nygaard (@safiyajn) March 17, 2019
“Ma’am, this is an Arby’s.” https://t.co/VON1JZMAIW
— Karen DaltonBeninato (@kbeninato) March 17, 2019
Me: we are all going to miss grandma. Would anyone like to say a few words?
Jk rowling: hagrid was a nudist
— Llama In A Tux (@LlamaInaTux) March 17, 2019
jk rowling: snape sex tape coming soon
— Quackity (@QuackityHQ) March 17, 2019
BREAKING: JK Rowling announces Dumbledore enjoys “light furry cosplay” and “watches porn like, all the time”
— chair admirer (@KrangTNelson) March 16, 2019