Three-hour movies are nothing new in Hollywood. In the early days, bladder busters were Lawrence of Arabia, The Deer Hunter and Ben Hur. Later on, pee breaks were needed for Titanic, Braveheart, and Schindler’s List.
What do all of these movies have in common other than the need to tie your bladder into a sailor’s knot? Oscars. This could be a good omen for the 11-year culmination of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe, Avengers: Endgame.
From The Godfather, Part II to Gone with the Wind, The Wolf of Wall Street to Malcolm X, three-hour movies are widely accepted only if they are good.
(Can you imagine sitting through three hours of Howard the Duck?! Help us, Lord!)
When it was announced (twice) that Avengers: Endgame would be more than three hours long, jokes were made about crossing legs and using that large Coke cup for other things, but no one complained because everyone knows it will be worth it.
That said, there’s always hope for the pee-sack-challenged for a small lull in production to sneak out and finally breathe. (Need I remind you in 1980, The Empire Strikes Back actually had an intermission.)
However, the man himself has come forth with a declaration that is sure to make some dime-sized bladder carriers (present company included) cringe with fear. Kevin Feige has delivered the death knell for soda lovers: “A movie is as long as it should be.”
There’s more, as he shared on one of his press junkets (via io9):
We are not fans of overindulging movies. We are not fans of laborious lengths for no reason. We are fans of movies that you wish didn’t end. Movies that you want to see again as soon as it’s over. And movies that you just don’t ever find a good time to run out to the bathroom. That’s when a movie’s working.
That’s it. I’m dead. For me, and countless dozens like me, walking out of a theater cross-eyed and blue-faced may have to go with this illustrious territory.
And if a movie doesn’t feel like that to us we continue to trim, we continue to shape, we continue to bring that time down. That happened to a certain extent on this movie. But we got to a point where it feels very exciting and goes by very quickly and in the end is the perfect length. And everybody that saw the movie felt the same way.
Without one shred of doubt, aside from the hype, hubbub, and ballyhoo this film is already creating in the nerd community, it’s a bonafide lock everyone who sees this movie will feel the same…
Get out of my way! Where in the blue hell is the bathroom!
Avengers: Endgame hits theaters beginning on April 26.