O’ Canada: Just Live Long, Prosper, and Get Over It

O’ Canada: Just Live Long, Prosper, and Get Over It

It was a cold day in the universe when one of the most beloved characters in science fiction history died on February 27, 2015. Of course, I’m referring to Leonard Nimoy who died of end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Mr. Spock was 83. 

Ever since that day, something strange–and completely awesome–has been happening across Canada. You see, the seventh-ever Canadian prime minister named Sir Wilfrid Laurier is given a place of memoriam on Canada’s five dollar bill. Only one problem: He died in 1919 and no one has thought anything of it until four years ago…

…but dude bears a striking resemblance to the world’s most famous Vulcan.

And so, some Trekkie was farting around in his wallet one day in Mississauga when he noticed the same thing. Then, he grabbed a nearby Sharpie and thought he would enhance his five-dollar bill. To wit, Canada is riddled with five-dollar pieces that transform like this:


This cultural, money-defacing phenomenon is affectionately known as “Spocking.” And, quite frankly, the Canadian government and the Banque de Canada have had it up to their Tuques with it.

Spock’s Dead. So What?!

You would think a fad like hammering your money with a ball-point pen would fade away in four years, but not so much, eh?

According to the aforementioned Bank in a recent post:

It is not illegal to write or make other markings on bank notes…however, there are important reasons why it should not be done. Writing on a bank note may interfere with the security features and reduces its lifespan. Markings on a note may also prevent it from being accepted in a transaction. Furthermore, the Bank of Canada feels that writing and markings on bank notes are inappropriate as they are a symbol of our country and a source of national pride.”

You have to love the effort. It’s all about nationalism and country pride. Quick memo to the Banque du Canada: You do realize the Canadians who roll up a Spocked Five-Spot to snort a week’s salary of nose candy aren’t too concerned about the Maple Leaf love, right?

Moreover, what about the Trekkies who frequent strip joints in Vancouver, Toronto, or Calgary? Where do you think those five-dollar bills have been?! If those nerds want to live long and prosper, they’re going to do it lining the butt crack of some crack wench with Bingo wings shaking her groove thing at 2:30 a.m.

Still want to complain about national pride? Yeah, that sounds logical.

P.S. For all you Potter-Heads, Canada hasn’t let you down either. See? Introducing “Snape-ing.” (RIP Alan Rickman)

Snape Bill




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I write for a living, among other things in the digital journalism and analytics universe. So I'm a little like a nerd unicorn. But no bronies. Move along.
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