The Dreaded Momo Challenge is Becoming a Movie Because People Suck

The Dreaded Momo Challenge is Becoming a Movie Because People Suck

New in the “Seriously, Hollywood. Seriously” department comes this inane story. Do you remember that hoax featuring this “thing’s” face? This was ‘Momo’ and it caused parents outside Wiccan cults and Emo support groups to freak the @$#* out!

The viral nature of this thing went around the world with the quickness, alerting parents that their sweet bundle of joy may encounter this freak of nature. That’s when the staring at that “reject from Bird Box face” will immediately create a persuasion to commit suicide.

One problem: This “Momo” was completely fake. Think Slenderman or Lights Out only more disturbing, less likely, and equally as irresponsible and stupefied. And that’s saying a lot.

Deadline broke the news about Orion Pictures and Vertigo Entertainment working with producer Takashige Ichise developing a horror film based on Ms. Bird and her freakish face. Oddly enough, Vertigo’s Founder Roy Lee and Ichise have worked together before with The Grunge and The Ring. 

[Everyone: “Reunited, and it feels so good. Reunited, ’cause we understood…”]

It all started with the Momo sculpture by Japanese artist Keisuke Aiso called ‘Mother Bird.’ Some imbecilic brats got a hold of this image and established a fine-crafted rumor about “Momo’s Challenge,” which involves pubescent kids who don’t believe in researching things on Google but rather take everything in social media as Gospel.

Gather all those kids around because Momo wanted to play a game — let’s see who wants injure themselves for giggles because why not? Terribly, some unfortunate kids believed this was real. So, Hollywood has a splendid idead: let’s celebrate that with a movie and help people get paid because they can’t think of anything else to write.

Blame the Bird Brain of Kimye

momo challenge

So, here’s this chick (turns out, literally) with eyes so engrossed and bulbous, you’d think she was impersonating Bugs Bunny in an old cartoon and is now looking for work.  Kids wanted to play this “game” and begged to be added to WhatsApp. Then, it was (kinda) linked to real suicides among young people in Argentina, Colombia, and India.

The choice was easy: film ridiculous tasks that involve self-harm (i.e., Jackass but much more malevolent). Then, end the journey by committing suicide or live eternally cursed. And not for nothing, but the reason many believed this hoax reached epic wildfire status across the Web is because professional ho-bag and oatmeal for brains, Kim Kardashian.

Yes, really. 

Turns out Ms. Kanye believed she had a responsibility to her 145 million followers on Instagram to get the word out about this dastardly game. So this past February, with (very) reckless abandon and absolutely no research, she warned parents that Momo messages are hidden in YouTube content.


Fun, right?! 

YouTube responded quickly with the following:

Of course, if you tag YouTube with a serious concern of bigotry or hate speech, nothing happens. Queen of the Sex Tapes does it and America listens validating this hoax turned urban legend. (See anything wrong with this picture?)

So, what has happened to the original sculpture? According to The Japan Timesonce Aiso heard about the real deaths loosely connected to his fake maternal ave, he took it to the closest dump and threw it away.

Meanwhile, those kids are still dead, the parents are still heartbroken, Hollywood proves it is using less brain cells to make movies, and… oh yeah, Kim Kardashian is still a idiot ho whose 15 minutes should have ended 15 years ago.

In the words of Public Enemy… (Just sayin’)



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