The Next Marvel Movie Will Be Directed by 50 Cent Cause He Said So

The Next Marvel Movie Will Be Directed by 50 Cent Cause He Said So

You have to appreciate confidence, moxie, or even brazen belief in one’s own abilities, but when you are so absorbed in your own press that you think you can boss around… Marvel friggin’ Studios?!

I mean, please. You need to get your behind back “In ‘Da Club” or the “Candy Shop” and work on something else. You know, “Just a Lil’ Bit.”

Yes, we’re talking about Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, hip-hop mogul, decent actor, and one of the minds behind an underrated cable TV series, POWER. He is currently in the sixth and final season of his award-winning STARZ series, and just directed his first TV episode. Kudos for that Mr. Cent, but since no one is really downloading his music these days, he is looking for someone else to write him a check.

Who would write him the biggest? Curtis is not much into the stock market, so he’s not calling Warren Buffet. Technology? Yeah, Tim Cook or Bill Gates won’t be returning that call.

Oh wait…movies. And who better to “P.I.M.P” the guy in charge of the eternal mint known as Marvel. So, he runs to the nearest cell phone and yells at Kevin Feige. That’s when this happened in Instagram…

50 Scorsese

Yeah, he’s feeling himself now. Again, he has directed one episode.

That’s it, but now, he thnks he is Martin Scorsese’s long lost eh…nephew? Time to take those new skills out on the road to see what he can do, and it all starts with a tongue-in-cheek gram with a rather creepy photo.

Now that I’m a big director and all, STARZ can’t afford to pay me to do another episode of ‘Power’, I think I’ll do the next Marvel movie. If it doesn’t require to [sic] much of my time. LOL.

This is why all those clickbait/stinkbait blogs who issue, “This B-list actor would really want to get into the Marvel Cinematic Universe” is just begging for your patronage (and honestly, most of you click on that crap).

That is not news!

How do I know that? Because anyone and their mother would like to do the same thing. It’s called a fat paycheck and who would say “No” to that?! No one, you dolts who print that bullsh.

When Kevin Feige calls, you pick up the phone. Period.

How is this post from Mr. Cent different? Because dude calls out Kevin Feige directly maybe expecting him to fire Ryan Coogler so Curtis can develop his own vision of Wakanda. Child, please. Maybe, “Fiddy” is more interested in kicking Steven DeKnight or someone to the curb so he can develop Moon Knight.

iron 50

In case you missed it in film school — kinda like Curtis did — the average movie takes between 75 to 120 days. Following those four long months, post-production consists of up to six months more. And this fool wants to do a CGI-gasm Marvel movie?! Only if “it doesn’t require much of his time.”

If I was Kevin Feige, I would send Curtis a copy of the “Josstice League” on DVD and call it a day. (Yes I get it’s DC. Fiddy won’t know the difference.) Watching that won’t require much of his time. Neither will “directing” it out of your DVD player.

Don’t get me wrong. He’s a decent actor and a talented man, but just because you have a name, doesn’t mean you have that “power” in your quiver.

Someday, Hollywood will figure that out because I don’t think Curtis Jackson will.

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I write for a living, among other things in the digital journalism and analytics universe. So I'm a little like a nerd unicorn. But no bronies. Move along.
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