Merry Xmas? Monster High Brings Us Pennywise and the Freaky ‘Shining’ Twins

Merry Xmas? Monster High Brings Us Pennywise and the Freaky ‘Shining’ Twins

Just in time for the holidays, here comes Monster High with some dolls! Cute, right? Yeah, not so much. Halloween comes first and you need to get the ever-loving crap scared out of you! The dolls, made by Mattel, have three new creations parents will be sure to hate.

Welcome to both the Spooky and Yuletide seasons, these slightly altered versions of Pennywise the Clown of IT fame and those haunting Grady Twins from The Shining.

Check them out, but be warned. When you do, you won’t be getting these toys out of your head for a while. First, let’s see those innocent girls from the Stanley Kubrick classic.

The Monster High Grady Twins

Monster High, by Mattel, has created the Grady Twins as some cute gift set for the holidays. Oh hell no.

Daddy, can I have the new Monster High twins for Christmas? Hell, no kid! Now leave me alone. Those gave me nightmares for months!

The Grady Twins are now Monster High dolls. Go away, Santa!
Source: Warner Bros./Hawk Films

While not as opaque and you know, a week dead looking, those things still can creep you out like the Grady Twins did in the movie.

Just look at them! Standing so innocently but knowing all they want to do is crawl in your ear and tap dance in your dreams.

Right down the brooding stare and holding hands even though they can’t stand the idea of family.

Yeah, thanks Santa and Mattel. That’s just what we needed for the holidays. I think there will be more nerd men buying these for their horror collections than parents with a certain panache for the macabre.

Here’s a holiday fun fact about the zombie girls here: They considered Jack Nicholson a “father figure” on the set. The girl — played by Lisa and Louise Burnsloved being on the set. Although Jack Torrance is easily one of the top five scariest dudes in horror, he was a kid at heart with the Burns sisters.

Touching, right? Now don’t ever come back again.

What is “IT”?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The hell is that?!

Pennywise has taken on two completely different visages. First, Tim Curry brilliantly portrayed the enigmatic force of evil in the 1990 TV miniseries. Then, the horror classic from Stephen King came to the big screen in the form of Bill Skarsgard.

In what became the most profitable horror movie ever, we have this clown to mess with our dreams and sewage systems for decades to come. So why not?!

Now we have this! Monster High went full board psycho coulrophobic on this one. (Yes, it’s a thing.) I’d applaud Pennywise for living his truth and transitioning, but DAYUM! That thing is just too creepy to look at.

Doesn’t Mattel and Monster High understand this is supposed to be for Christmas gifts, not “Welcome to your first Satanic Coven” gifts?! For whatever purpose these toys were made, one thing is for certain, Monster High will be making plenty of these because they won’t be able to keep them on the shelves (even though they’ll stay haunting us in the closet).

Merry Christmas!

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I write for a living, among other things in the digital journalism and analytics universe. So I'm a little like a nerd unicorn. But no bronies. Move along.
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